Tightwad Gazette

I just went over to the library and checked out the three volumes of The Tightwad Gazette. They didn't have the complete volume, so I have three books to heft around. That's okay. I'll burn five extra calories this way.

So far, many of these tips don't apply to us. The Guy already packs lunches, reusing old shopping bags. We've switched to reusable bags ($.05 credit per bag at each shopping trip), so that supply will eventually dwindle, but then he can just use one of the reusables anyway. We don't use dryer sheets. We don't have school-age kids.

Some of them are things we won't ever do. We don't have a fireplace and never have occasion to buy firewood. Sending in all the neighborhood's bills in one envelope doesn't apply because we pay all our bills online

I am excited about homemade granola, though. The Child is obsessed with granola. Every time she wakes up from a nap: "Hoongry! Goy bar? Goy bar?" Few granola bars are even remotely acceptable for regular consumption (I do so love those gooey ones that are half high fructose corn syrup and chocolate chips, though), so we shell out for Kashi or Nature Valley. I stock up when they're on special. But they're still expensive (for what they are, at least). I could make it in large quantities and cut back on the sugar. Yay!

Anyway, even the things that aren't going to be directly useful are getting me to think about how to be creative in saving money. And that's my real problem. It's not that we can't go without optional comforts. Because we do that all the time and don't mind. No, my real problem is that I just don't think.

In the last week, I have become hyper-aware of all the little things I do that cost us money. That sounds stressful, doesn't it? But it's not.

The more mindful I am of everything I do that costs money, the better I feel about every little thing I do to save money. I smile when I remember to switch off a light that would normally stay on. I smile when I pull the curtain to the cold kitchen closed behind me. I smile when I use the fluorescent light under the cabinet instead of the halogen overhead light. All these tiny little things are adding up to me finally making a contribution to our finances. It's a good feeling.

Even the tips I won't ever use are getting me to think in new directions, which means more tiny accomplishments every day, which means feeling less and less like a useless schlub.

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I like to come here to the new coffee shop and sit for a couple hours with my laptop during the girls' naps. Yes, that latte did cost $3.00, but for a weekly indulgence, I think it's worth it. There aren't any other places in town with free wireless where I can just go and sit in peace. And if I were home, I'd likely be sitting around, accomplishing nothing. Here, my laptop is at least plugged into someone else's outlet.

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Here's something I've always known but never really thought about: saving money on optional expenses is better than earning that same amount of money extra. If we save $5,000 a year by cutting back, that's $5,000 extra that isn't taxed as a raise would be. No income tax, no sales tax. If my husband got a $5,000 raise, about half (maybe more) of it would be gone to taxes. So saving us just a few thousand a year is like earning double that.

(I'm more than a little foggy on tax law, especially since we're just on the edge of a tax bracket. I admit I don't know exactly how these things work. And I don't want to. Tax law makes me yawn, and then gives me a headache. It's enough for me to know that a huge chunk of any money my husband makes goes to the government.)

If it sounds like I'm psyching myself up needlessly, keep in mind that I am the most unmotivated person in the world. I spent 8 years in college and never got a degree. I slouched my way through high school, earning grades that ranged from passable to goodish (except in subjects I truly loved, like calculus, where I did practice problems for fun), when I could have probably earned straight As and a scholarship.

I have this ingrained notion that being capable of so many things is something to be proud of, that it's enough. But it's not. In fact, great ability makes a lack of accomplishment even more shameful. While I know this, I don't know it. Same way that I know there are no monsters under the bed, but I still make a running leap for it in the dark so nothing grabs my ankles.

I can't take credit what I was born with, but I can control what I do with that. It's too late to go back to high school and learn how to try, and it's too late to erase years of pointless school debt. So now I can try do three things: rewire my brain, make the most of our finances from here on out, and try to teach my children a different way of thinking.

Which means getting off my lazy bum and actually doing something.